Cake Fail: Cake #4 Postponed

So I had a lot going on tonight. I started baking the cake at about 10:15 or so. Turns out I had a British recipe… and my conversions weren’t so good… and I didn’t exactly have all the ingredients… so I tried to be clever and do some substitutions. Not only was the cake a complete and utter failure, but it might even be the worst dish I’ve ever created in my life. In. My. Life. So it’s midnight. Two hours, a huge mess and 12 bucks later… I’ve got this.

It’s ok. You can laugh. I did. It’s almost good enough to go on Cake Wrecks.

Lessons learned? No, 2.5 cups of margarine will not make up for the fact that you don’t have shortening or real butter. Forgetting to toss peaches in brown sugar to ensure they get caramelized is not “okay.” And tossing a crap ton of baking powder into the batter will not make up for the self-rising flour you forgot to buy. (“How bad could it be?” she asks. “Cakes are pretty forgiving,” she says.) This thing is downright gross.

Sorry dudes. Will have to reattempt with a better recipe and all the ingredients this weekend and make it up to you Monday. Peaches ‘n’ cream is still the challenge, and I’m up to it. You WILL have cake.

Update: The cake fail has been declared a state of emergency at the office.

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Heather Physioc is an SEO/CRO professional in Kansas City. She is a vegetarian food-lover who finds joy in cooking, baking and finding funky new restaurants. She leads a pack of dogs, including her beagle Ford, and her shepherd-collie-retriever mix, Otto, and also has a cat named Ahab. She lives with her military spouse, Luke.
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8 Responses to “Cake Fail: Cake #4 Postponed”

  1. Holly Cochran says:

    Well, at least you could freeze it and use it for shuffleboard season? 🙂

  2. Luke says:

    I know exactly how much you had going on when you were making this. I also know how late it was. I love that you are including the mishaps on this website, because in a way, they are just as important as your other ones. A lot can happen in 52 weeks and I think that is part of the experience. I can’t wait to see how this turns out next week, I am definitely staying tuned!

  3. Melanie says:

    i just had to same failure with my obsession…bread. Went to make a sour dough loaf that took me a week to ferment, i was on the second rise and just almost there when i fell asleep on the couch. I woke the next morning to a huge gelatinous sticky blob…i tried to save it but it turned to stone and ended up in the trash:(

  4. Sabra says:

    Every time one fails, one learns to not re-create that failure. In turn each failure is one step closer to success 🙂 Can’t wait to find out how this one turns out!

  5. Emily says:

    🙁 I also try to make substitution and fail miserably.

  6. mom phyz says:

    For this very reason I have a secret stash of box mixes (shhhhh!) Mr. Duncan and Mrs. Hines have helped me out in a pinch and only you will know! Good try sweetness; I can imagine the horrific spin it caused at work today!!

  7. Kate says:

    Everybody makes mistakes in the kitchen, but it still hurts when a cake-baby isn’t born healthy. Recently I went overboard with lime zest in a key lime pie. Weee, lime zest! It smells so good! Let’s add extra! Overwhelming bitter limey taste is not the way to go. The barely edible pie is just hanging out in the fridge without many takers. 🙁

  8. Sarah Haas says:

    This is so funny. Good attempt. I love your “Emergency Backup Cake” shot. Hilarious.

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